‘If I had my child to raise all over again, I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later. I’d finger-paint more, and point the finger less. I'd do less correcting and more connecting. I’d take my eyes off my watch, and WATCH with my eyes. I’d take more hikes and fly more kites. I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play. I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars. I’d do more hugging and less tugging’ – Diane Loomans, Parent Positive Kids
It's an absolute privilege to be a parent. And although I've only ever been an 'official' parent to one child, my 16 year-old son Izaac, during my 16 years' work at Clyne, 62 & Red11 Models, I've had the honour and priviledge of being a second mum to hundreds of teens, and a crazy second aunty/disciplined big sister to hundreds more, learning lots about parenting along the way from my work with models:
Because being a model agent carries degrees of parenting. I now know this through experience, because I'm the mum of a teenager and worked with tonnes of teens. Being a model agent is incredibly unique, and something no other position could possibly offer.
I'm not their family, but I'm treated like family. I'm not their therapist, but I council them. I'm not their careers advisor, but I co-manage their career. I'm not their coach, but I coach them on the game of life. I'm not their mate, but I'm their confidante. I'm not their teacher. But it's my job to teach.
Now I don't need to tell you what it takes to parent a child/children, because a lot of us are living it, sometimes (or often) stumbling along trying to figure it out and making it up as we go along. We're making (and (over) correcting mistakes) as we try and continue unscathed and apparently unaffected, calling (and recalling) on people around us for a hand, lapping up everything we can by reading, watching and listening to people who can really teach us some $hit about this crazy game of life and the even crazier parenting game (because it's no longer just about us)...
We learn so much from eachother.
NECKLACE CREDITS: 'Mother' necklace by COMPANY OF STRANGERS & interchangeable 'What's my Mood?' charm necklace co-designed by Amanda Betts & the woman who designed and made my one-off wedding necklace, ZORA BOYD-BELL.
So in this post, I'm simply sharing a little about the huge inspiration bringing Izaac into the world has meant not only for me (and all who love Izaac), but how being a parent to Izaac helped me SO MUCH with the models I've worked with. Likewise, life is give and take, so it's also about how being a second mum/model agent/mentor to the models I've worked with completely inspires me as I parent Izaac (and re-parent myself in the process - because Lord knows I needed to be re-parented!).
So I'm sharing a poem I wrote on the morning of Izaac's 16th birthday (it's my blog and I'll do what I want to!). Ironically, I noticed that the poem is, kind of, the repeat message IN LIFE FOR ALL OF US. Because the circles of life never stop, I've noticed. Enjoy.
A Parent’s Journey by Amanda Betts 6 November, 2013
When your dad and I decided
We wanted you
I remember
Our wishes for you
And when we discovered
I was pregnant with you
I remember
Our excitement for you
During your scans
You'd swim and hide
I remember
Our anxiety for you
As my clothes became
All too small for me
I remember
The growing of you
Your alien-like movements
Oft' late in the night
I remember
The wonderment of you
My belly shuddering
From your tiny hiccups
I remember
Our laughter for you
Rubbing your foot
Pushed out from within
I remember
Our dreams for you
Waking up early
With broken waters from you
I remember
The fear of you
My body writhing
Labour deep in my core
I remember
Increasing pain of you
Your Dad's fastest drive ever
For me to give birth
I remember
Our anticipation of you
The time you decided
To enter this world
I remember
The intensity of you
When you took your first breath
Released your first cry
I remember
Our relief of you
We were told the long lashes
Belonged to a boy
I remember
Our pure joy for you
I held your warm body
Close to my breast
I remember
My reward for you
You would not sleep
Unless nestled in me
I remember
Being content with you
Your tiny fingers
Wrapped around mine
I remember
The perfection of you
Taking you home
On that beautiful day
I remember
Our happiness for you
16 years later
The young man you've become
I remember
The child in you
Everything you are
And all you will be
Never forget
Our deep love for you.
